my testimony

this week when i read connies' story of her conversion, it made me realize that i have never even written out my own story.
i mean i was just too shy of doing so i guess...well just too cowardly.
now constance has given me the courage to just tell it!

mom and dad golden were married in 1947.
at that time they never went to church anywhere.
betty was born in april/48 and by the year 1952, there were four little golden children.
dad golden joined the air force and with the move to trenton, mom golden was invited out to gospel meetings at the lorne avenue gospel hall and that is when the christians started to pick us children up for sunday school where we heard all about the love of god for sinners.
1n the early 60's we moved to my beloved manitoba and there we attended the wheatland baptist church where we continued to hear the good word and where i continued not to hear it..too young,..lots of time to decide later. ...one of the devil's biggest lie to keep people from coming to the lord!
a year later, the christians from brandon took upon themselves the responsibly of taking the family to brandon gospel hall
this was a 66 mile round trip twice on a sunday.
by now there was 8 little goldens!
hearing the good gospel again for several years.
in high school there, i was in contact too every day with chrisitan kids that attended the pentecostal church,
and although i thought i was pretty smart that i went to so many gospel meetings and was a good girl[ha!..NOT!], i saw that these kids had a peace and happiness that i sure didn't!
when we moved to ottawa in 1967, life went on as usual for mom and her by then nine kids.
sunday school, prayer meeting and gospel meetings....still none of us saved.
well in june 1967 there came special gospel meetings and every night we were driven by the christians to these meetings.
one night when the preacher was speaking, he was telling us that we were all born sinners. i had heard this before of course..he said that we had all a rebellious nature and i thought to myself..that's me for sure. seventeen i was and wanting my own way and giving mom golden a hard time already....here i thought i was a christian and i was not!
i stayed behind that night to talk to the preacher and when i left i was still as blind as a bat.
for a couple of days at home, i tried and tried to believe but oh it was too hard.
i said to god...."you are just too far away and i can't find you. i will just have to go to hell because THAT is where i deserve to be"!
i got up from my knees and started to read luke 15 about the prodigal son and there as i read luke 15:20, i saw it.

Luke 15:20
And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

just like a bright light, it shined on my heart....here is how i saw this verse........And he arose and came to his father, But when HE was yet a great way off......god wasn't the one that was far off at all. he was near all the time just waiting...it was ME who was afar off. I was the lost one and that is who exactly that jesus died for!
oh my sins were all gone, the wall of sins that separated me from god was smashed down by jesus, the precious son of god who died for me.
finally i had the peace that i saw in those high school christian friends that i had.
as i lay on my bed just feeling so happy and relieved, i noticed all of the moths and june bugs at my window,
it was a hot summer night and already dark...my light was on and as i heard the thumps of those insects bouncing on the window, trying their hardest to get at the inside light, it dawned on my mind....and i said to those bugs...."oh you silly guys....don't you realize the glass wall that is separating you from the light. you are just helpless to get to it...SOMEONE has to smash down that wall before you can enter!"....oh! that is just like me....i was helpless....only jesus could break that wall of sin between god and me to let me in.....

i am sorry that i was so long winded but you must remember...this is the very first time that i have written this down and it is all because of connie that i was encouraged to do so.....

ps..mom golden and betty were saved about a week later....