Wednesday, May 27, 2009
this week when i visisted connie...i read the wonderful story of her salvation and with her permission i have copied it here.
"I was a young girl when my parents divorced and I didn't have much contact with my father. I saw him a couple of times a year but I always hungered for more. I was starving for a father's love. I had the love of my mother and my paternal grandmother during those lonely years. My grandmother's husband, "Grandpa Bud" was a mean man who would beat my grandmother when he was drunk, which was almost every day. I didn't have a positive father figure in my life. As an adult I can look back and see how that influenced and shaped me. I understand why I made the decisions and choices I did. It doesn't excuse them because I bear the full weight and responsibility of my actions. However, it's comforting to know that there was a reason why I behaved stupidly!
I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic grade school and high school and in my younger years attended Mass 6 days a week. I challenged the nuns at every turn always asking why we did things the way we did. I never got an answer that satisfied me. Although my mother was Catholic, when I was 9 years old, we went to a Billy Graham Crusade. The invitation was given to come forward and accept Christ as your Savior and I ran down there. My mother came behind me and told the counselor that, "it was okay, we were already going to church". I often wonder how different my life might have been if I had been allowed to accept Christ at that point. I don't blame my Mom because in hindsight, I believe that God's timing was perfect. I feel like I had to go through all of the bad choices and consequences to appreciate the great love of God.
In Luke chapter 7 starting in verse 36, Jesus has gone to the home of a Pharisee to have dinner with him. While there, a woman who was known to be a prostitute comes in and washes his feet with her tears. The Pharisee scoffs and thinks that if Jesus were a real prophet, he would never let this sinful, unclean woman near him, let alone touch him. Knowing this, Jesus turns to Peter and tells him the story of 2 men who owed money, one owed a small amount, the other a large amount. Neither could repay their debt and so the moneylender forgave their debt. Jesus asks the question, "Who will love more? The one who owed a little or the one who owed a lot?" I see my past life and I realize the debt that Christ's death on the cross wiped clean. I pray every day that I would love more
Loving Jesus was easy for me. I mean, who couldn't love HIM? He left everything, all the glories of heaven that are HIS alone and exchanged them for a life that ended in cruel suffering and death, all for my salvation! After accepting HIS sacrifice (as the only way to get to heaven) and turning the keys of my life over to HIM and letting HIM drive, my life has been so much more meaningful. I love HIM because HE first loved me and while I was still sinning and living a godless life, HE died for me! I've still made mistakes, lived selfishly at times and not always kept HIM in first place but HE'S always there with HIS arms opened wide, ready to take me back. Like I said, who couldn't love someone like that?
God on the other hand was abstract. I felt like HE was out there somewhere, totally indifferent and distant. I know now that my perceptions of God were based on my dysfunctional childhood and the lack of my own father interacting with me. I had to unlearn what I thought about God and see HIM for who HE really is.
It was during this waiting period that I got to know who God the Father is. I don't know HIM fully and never really will comprehend, this side of heaven but I got to experience the love of the Father in ways I never knew existed."
the rest of connie's story, you can read at her blog, http://edelweisstexas.blogspot.com/
thank you connie for allowing me to print this story.
to read a remarkable prayer of connies, go and see felisol at..http://felisol.blogspot.com/
thank you crown of beauty for the "lend" of your picture.